


All's well that ends well

by oohhhoneyhoney



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Canon Non-Binary Character, Trans Deceit Sanders, eventual roceit, non binary Virgil sanders, non binary roman sanders, not historically accurate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:53:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23433472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oohhhoneyhoney/pseuds/oohhhoneyhoney
Summary: “Without a ruler,” Eden had once said, “The word turns to anarchy.” What he failed to mention, is what happens if the rulers are the cause.The story in which everyone dies, a revolution fails, and it all turns out okay.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	All's well that ends well

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter warnings: Mentions of being eaten alive, mentions of murder, general fear of the king, falling off high structures, mention of shooting someone, anger at the main character, accidental misgendering, a character is picked up without consent but he’s alright with it

They all die in the end- though we cant say if it was their true demise. Not by sword fights, hungry land whales, the unfortunate number of tall structures people seem to fall off of, or the tyrant king’s guards. No, all in this story are united and destroyed by one factor alone, and nothing else; The idiocy of Eden Viper Anwir.  
This is, of course, how Eden survives it all.

Many scholars debate exactly when people began using bovine as a somewhat more polite synonym for stupid, though it’s widely agreed that it was within the years of Eden Viper Anwir’s life. Before that, they might have used dense, simple minded, dull, but it was when the shepherds son fell out his window that the population really began to relate those of small minds to cattle. Ironic, considering Eden did fall into a heard of cattle. Or, perhaps, where cattle had been. A truer statement would be he fell into a herd of cattle dropping. This was not recorded, though the way a passerby cackled and shouted, “Look at that idiot! Bovine and dumb, ‘e must be!” was (It was one of the most reference accounts in determining the time frame of the word). To which they received a rather rude gesture from Eden. He stood, brushing off the manure and looking cruelly up to the window (that seemed to stare just as cruelly back) at which he had just fallen out of. Eden was acutely aware he could have used the door of his house, though that small thought was diminished as he remembered his father working at his desk, who would surely have seen him leaving had he not gone out the window. 

Of course next time he might want a better way to get back in. Future-Eden would likely love to shoot Past-Eden for the trouble. Although guns did not exist yet, nor did Future-Eden. (Scholars often reported the invention of guns was in the 10th century in China, although it had actually been in the lost city of Atlantis roughly ten years prior. However, it was exactly then which the city sank and thus their invention was never brought to light.)

The bar was a hole-in-the wall place in every sense of the word, to the point that the only way to enter is was to quite literally climb through a hole in where the old food cellar had once been. It still would be a cellar, had the owners not been taken and murdered by the king. No one had taken the offer to buy it, so the building was covered and ignored until Patton Arrows had found it. Soon enough, it became a safe haven for anyone in need. The homeless, the cursed, fugitives of the crown. It was a nice spot, if you knew where to look. Not many did. 

All the patrons glanced over warily as Eden entered. There was always a worry of the kings guard finding the bar. There was a collective sigh as they all returned to what they had been doing. Or, should I say, all but one. A person made of fire who stormed over, lighting at their feet as they faced Eden,  
“You bastard!”  
“Lovely to see you, too, Virgil,” Eden dried off his coat, hanging it on the back of an unoccupied chair. He stepped over to the counter and jumped to the other side. Grabbing a bottle and leaving a few coins, he turned back to the fuming Virgil. 

“You bovine, unbearable, bastard!” Perhaps a bit more than fuming, “Where were you the past four nights? We’ve been worried sick!”

“I see you’ve found a thesaurus,” Eden took a sip from the bottle, savoring the bitter taste for a moment. The person across from him placed their head into their hands. There was no time to question it before arms were picking Eden up in a hug,

“Eden! We’ve missed you!” Patton’s joyful voice boomed from behind. The hug squeezed him tighter than seemed altogether necessary, sending him into a coughing fit, 

“Binder, Patton, let go” Eden sputtered out. He was quickly dropped by Patton, who stepped back meekly, 

“Oop! Sorry, kiddo! Forgot about that little thing,” He still smiled just as bright, helping Eden to his feet. Patton 'tsk'ed at the bottle Eden had been holding, swiping it away from him before he could grab it again. Eden hissed and grabbed for it to no avail. Patton towered over him, anyway. 

Patton poured a glass for himself and Eden and got water for Virgil, who didn’t drink despite spending the better part of their days in a bar. He sat back onto a stool. Eden’s eyes flickered with curiosity,

“How do you both feel about murder?”

Virgil quirked an eyebrow, “As in, would we like to commit it or die from it?” they paused, “Yes to both, why?”

“No!” Patton grabbed Virgil reflexively, “If you die, I will, too.”

“If?”

“Yes.”

Eden coughed to bring back their attention, “I mean to kill the king,”

The group all stopped. Virgil and Patton glanced between each other. Eden’s eyebrows twitched, curious to their hesitance.

“You don’t think we should? He’s been less a monarch and more a tyrant over this land for–”

“Yeah, yeah, save your lecture. I agree just… Do you have a plan?” Virgil questioned,“

"Well I–”

“Any means to get into the castle?”

“Maybe I-”

“Anyone else in on this?”

“That’s exactly it!” Eden spoke through clenched teeth. “I need your help! Come on, Patton?”

The bartender stepped back, “Well, I- uh… Y'know, I think it’s a good idea!” He curled into himself, “But I think it’s just that: an idea.”

The world froze for Eden. He glanced with ice in his veins to the two in front of him,

“You’re kidding.” There was no answer, which only helped to raise the goosebumps on his arms, “You have to be kidding! You can’t- So, what, you plan to just-” Air thawed around him as Eden huffed and grabbed his jacket. He began to storm out, “Fine! If you want to live complacent with this life, be my guest!”  
If there was a door he would have slammed it.

A fair was going on. Something was always going on. A fair, a festival, a parade. It was a good distraction to the public, albeit an annoyance to those not as pleased with the sounds and lights.  
Eden found himself biting at ravens wings, leaning passive-aggressively against a withered tree,

“Do you plan to lean passive-aggressively against that tree, or socialize like a normal person?” A sultry voice asked beside him. Eden moved the hood of his cloak just enough to see a handsome stranger just at his left. He stared with amber eyes into Eden with a strange sort of purpose. The man seemed to be looking into him, opposed to the more common way of simply looking at a person. It unnerved him,

“Oh! How could I have been so foolish?” Eden faked a gasp, “Because of course I like to busy myself with the events of a normal person," 

The stranger offered a hand to shake but not a name,

"Well then, could you at least give me something to call you?”

Eden didn’t shake it, “I like to keep it for myself, actually.”

They laughed, “Oh, I just might like you, sir no-name," 

"But is that feeling mutual, Mr…?" 

"Mx. Roman, actually," 

Eden smiled. Now the handsome stranger had a name, he turned ever so slightly to face them, "No last name?”

“I can hardly guarantee you a first,” They grinned, clapping their hands together, “Now! You finally decided to look at me," 

Eden scoffed, "Trust me, Roman, I’ve seen you this whole time. With a face like that, you’re hard to ignore." 

Romans face reddened, hidden by the orange firelight, "Oh,” they chuckled a bit, “You jest, of course." 

Eden sighed, "If that’s how you would like to take it, then sure.”

“Do you ever say something without an aura of vague-ness, lies and dolls?" 

(Scholars were long confused by this, before remembering the age-old fairytale of pies and dolls, popular in the 1360’s.)

"That truly depends on who you ask,”

Roman sighed, “I’ll assume a no.”

Without much hesitation, Roman pulled Eden from the ground into his arms bridal-style (Although, scholars might say that style of carry was made much later. Humans, however, are well aware that style of carry has long existed prior to the dates given. Hence why scholars are often wrong.) much to the man’s surprise. He jumped, hanging on to Roman’s neck and squirming,

“Have anywhere to be, tonight?” they never let go. 

“Yes, Of course I–”

Roman saw through the lie, “Like the man who decided socializing was too good for him has many plans.” They hummed, all together too happy, “So unless the king has a bounty on you, I’m taking you to Thomas’.”

He couldn’t argue. The only place Eden would have to go is back home, and current-Eden regretfully remembered past-Eden deciding to leave the problem of getting inside up to him. He would shoot that guy, if he could. There was no choice but to let Roman do as they pleased. 

No that he particularly disliked the idea. 

As it turned out, “Thomas’” Was an animal sanctuary. That “take in creatures unfit for the wild and give them a home!” the brochure said in a far to happy tone. 

“Thomas and I go way back- He was a castle guard when I was just a kid, y'know.” Roman explained, “But later he decided to open this sanctuary." 

Eden nodded, taking in the sight of the place. It wasn’t in the worst of shape by any means, although it wasn’t in the best, either. Eden traced his hand over the cracks in the plaster, grimacing at the dust that settle on the tips of his fingers,  
”Definitely seems to follow health codes,“

Roman laughed without humor, "Yeah, well, the king doesn’t seem to think this place deserves funding,” They held bitterness in their voice, beginning to lead Eden through, “Doesn’t stop people from doing what they can to keep this place going. Gosh, don’t know where they’d go. All the animals, I mean. The wolves and land whales and dragons and all–”

“Whales?” (Although it was never acknowledged by scholars, Eden’s phobia of whales existed at age seven and well into adulthood. The scholars deemed this an unimportant, and this is why you do not trust scholars.)

Roman nodded, seemingly confused at the reaction. Eden, who suddenly decided he didn’t particularly fancy being around such horrid creatures as land whales, pulled back. Roman looked oddly to him, stepping towards Eden. They held up his hands, “You won’t even see them, fibber on the roof.” Their voice assured, “And, trust me, you’re going to want to come with me." 

"Because you think I fancy being fed to the whales?” Eden hissed in response. He stepped back again. Roman sighed, 

“Just trust me." 

Ah, yeah, trust a person he just met and was abducted by. sounds great.

A door behind them opened. Someone stepped out, lighting up seeing the pair,

"Roman!” He grinned, “And who’s this?”

There was a beat of silence. Roman probably expected Eden to introduce himself. 

He didn’t.

“A… friend! He’s a friend of mine,”

“Oh!” There was a strained sort of hesitance in the mans voice, “Are you sure he… Oh, well I mean does he support…?”

He gestured vaguely. Roman nodded, 

“I’m quite sure he does! And have I ever brought an untrustworthy friend before?”

“Seven times, Roman,” The man deadpanned. His smile returned, opening his door wider and beckoning them both inside the room.

It was dark. No windows, the only source or light being a fair few candles set on a table. It was small. Seven people could fit, though only five stood there now, including Eden and Roman. The table held papers covered in illegible notes and scribbles and unsightly doodles at the corners. If you took more than a look at the place, it would bring a vague feeling of fear that Eden had long ago grown accustomed to. 

He briefly wondered exactly what he was doing here with a crowd of strangers. The man seemed to read his mind. He stuck out a hand for Eden to shake,

“I’m Thomas Sanders!” He grinned,

“We’re planning a revolution.”


End file.
